In our rolling Change Challenges and Priorities survey, 48% of respondents reported that overcoming resistance is one of the most pressing challenges in their role.
When coaching change managers, a useful discussion can be about how, when we 'inflict' change on others, it is usually experienced as unwanted change. I ask new change managers to reflect on a time of unwanted change in their own life. This might have been starting a new school, having to move house, experiencing a relationship separation, or losing something or someone we love.
Change is a part of life that we all face. The part that went before - the past - and the part that comes next - the future - are linked by what we do now in the present. By leaning in to changes, we make the transition to the future much easier on ourselves, and we learn to find the gold in change - the opportunities, the new beginnings, the resolution of old issues.
However, many individuals grapple with the moment of resistance—the hesitation that precedes the understanding that a shift is necessary. This experience is natural and universal; it can be seen in personal, professional, and social contexts. The moment before you realise things need to change can be fleeting, or it can take much longer. Whether brief, or more prolonged, it is in these moments that we begin an important journey.
As life progresses, we frequently fall into the comforting rhythm of our routines that become entrenched over time. We established these routines to help us live in the present. However, in the future, these routines might not be needed, or might need to adjust. Even with the smallest changes, discomfort can simmer beneath the surface, making us feel resistant to change initially, and nudging us toward introspection.
In this post, we explore the nature of resistance, examine the moments before we commit to change, and highlight the powerful growth that can emerge once we cross that threshold.
Understanding Resistance: that moment before you realise things need to change
Resistance represents our instinctual pull to stay within our comfort zones. It can manifest as fear, doubt, or a sense of inadequacy—feelings that take hold of us when we consider the idea of change. We can stay in our comfort zone analysing the problem for so long it becomes a familiar habit in itself.
Talking about the change, thinking about the change and analysing the change, is not actually making the change.
These feelings can swell when change is suggested, often leaving us mired in indecision. Many might procrastinate, rationalise their inaction, or even downplay the need for change altogether. And, it’s crucial to understand that resistance is a natural part of being human.
The fear of the unknown can be paralysing. The challenge lies in recognising this resistance for what it is: a temporary barrier that, once acknowledged, can open the door to growth and transformation.
The Fear of Change
A significant number of people face intense fear surrounding change. This anxiety often stems from worries about potential outcomes, loss of control, or the pain of confronting previous failures. Ultimately, the fear of change comes down to a desire for safety.
There might be difficult tasks to achieve associated with going through change, and by acknowledging the need to change, we may be taking on a large workload. By resisting the change, we can avoid the stress and work involved in dealing with the steps that get us through to the other side.
However, it is vital to remember that the nature of change in our modern world doesn't always align with the intense feelings we have stored in our evolutionary biology. In fact, change frequently leads to growth. It can provide new opportunities, foster resilience, and improve our overall well-being. Overcoming resistance often involves reframing how we perceive change. Instead of viewing it as loss, we can learn to see change as a route to progress.
By gradually adjusting our mindset, we can begin to embrace the prospect of change, loosening the grip of fear that may have held us inert.
Recognising the Moment of Resistance
The moment before realisation is significant. It serves as a gateway to understanding our true desires and motivations. This realisation can take multiple forms, whether it’s a subtle insight or a wake-up call marked by a major event, such as a health scare or the loss of a job.
For many, this moment comes unexpectedly, compelling us to confront the truth that the status quo is no longer adequate. Though it may seem intimidating, recognising this moment signifies the first step toward action. It serves as a signal that something within us is longing for exploration.
Observing our feelings during this period of resistance can reveal patterns and insights. Practicing mindfulness—paying attention to our thoughts and emotions—can uncover the beliefs that tether us to our comfort zones.
Overcoming Resistance
To overcome resistance, adopting an action-oriented approach can be helpful. Start with small steps that align with your goals rather than aiming for a complete overhaul in one go. For example, a snacker wishing to improve their health might consider swapping one unhealthy indulgence for a piece of fruit each day. Someone grappling with whether or not to move cities might first take a research trip. Minor changes can create momentum and propel you forward.
It is useful to get thoughts about your situation out of your head. Talking through the problem, or journalling about it, helps to organise your thinking and creates distance.
When asked to solve a difficult maths problem, most people would make notes about the numbers involved, jot down a formula they think is relevant and work it through with pen and paper. This is because we instinctively know we can process information better, and make difficult calculations when we see a problem in some physical form. Similarly, writing down any thoughts, fears, and aspirations can clarify your feelings and intentions. Seeing words on a page helps generate detachment and objectivity. This fosters self-reflection, and helps to organise any emotions constructively.
Surrounding yourself with supportive people can significantly influence your journey. Engaging with individuals who encourage growth can inspire you to challenge your limiting beliefs. Strong social support systems can lead to increased resilience.
The Potent Power of Change
As we push through resistance, we uncover the transformative power that accompanies change. Striving for improvement—whether in our personal lives, relationships, or careers—can yield profound benefits. According to the Harvard Business Review, people who embrace change typically report a 25% increase in life satisfaction.
This makes complete sense. If we grapple for a long time with the moment before realising things need to change, the feeling of resistance can become an uncomfortable feature of our everyday.
Long term, resisting growth and change is not the most optimum way our lives could be. Triumphing over resistance cultivates resilience. Each time we push ourselves beyond our comfort zones, we build the capacity to face future challenges with renewed confidence. A shift in mindset allows us to view obstacles not as threats but as chances for learning and growth.
That moment when our mindset shifts from resistance to realising things need to change can come as a great relief. It empowers individuals with control over their destiny, and it opens up possibilities that we may not have seen beforehand.
This new perspective enhances our relationships with ourselves and others, pushing us to engage more fully with life.
Embracing Growth Through Change
The journey from resistance to acceptance is an intrinsic part of the human experience. Acknowledging that moment before realising the need for change is crucial; it ignites growth and evolution.
While resistance can embody fear and uncertainty, it ultimately leads to self-discovery and new possibilities. By embracing the discomfort associated with change and committing to small, actionable steps, we can break free from stagnation and enjoy personal growth.
The experience of change may differ for everyone. However, by understanding and confronting our resistance, we each hold the potential to embark on a transformative journey that enriches our lives in unexpected ways.
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