Effective communication and negotiation skills are critical for leading a team through organisational shifts or engaging stakeholders in transformational initiatives. Observing the art of persuasion at work, picking up some techniques from those gentle-yet-effective persuaders, and trying out some of what you're observing can genuinely make a difference. If you feel you're working hard to deliver change, but not really making in-roads with the people around you, you might benefit from exploring some key strategies to enhance your persuasive abilities.
"Doc Rhino"
Verbal Judo: The Martial Art of Communication
Dr. George J. Thompson, also known as “Doc Rhino,” was a high school and university English teacher, as well as having served as a police officer. He coined the phrase Verbal Judo in his Tactical Communication Training program launched in 1983. He later published a bestselling book called Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion. His work taught defusing conflict and redirecting behaviour using strategic communication.
“When you react, the event controls you. When you respond, you’re in control.” – Dr. George J. Thompson
Verbal Judo is the art of using words strategically to defuse confrontations and foster cooperation. It may come as no surprise that this approach is founded on key principles of:
listening actively with empathy,
crafting a thoughtful message using words that resonate with the audience and build bridges rather than walls, and
avoiding common pitfalls like blame, defensiveness and aggression in conversations and exchanges.
The Five Universal Truths of Human Interaction
Dr. Thompson’s insights provide a solid foundation for persuasion, highlighting the ways in which we all prefer to be addressed in communication and negotiations.
Everyone desires respect. Acknowledging others’ viewpoints creates a more receptive atmosphere.
People prefer being asked rather than being told. Involve them in decision-making: Ask, Don’t Tell.
Explaining the rationale behind your proposals is powerful. People want to understand the “why.”
Present choices rather than ultimatums because options empower decision-making and ultimatums can derail problem solving.
Allow room for redemption and second chances. We all make mistakes, and we all appreciate a chance to correct our course.
Subtle Cues and Persuasion in Change Management
After having prepared thoughtful messaging tailored for the needs and characteristics of our audience, we obviously then engage in some kind of interaction in order to deliver it. By paying attention to behavioural cues upon delivery, we can learn a significant amount about how our messaging will generally land and whether it is likely to influence behaviour.
Framing: How we present information matters because positive framing can sway opinions. When presenting information, choose a positive perspective and frame your message in a way that highlights benefits and solutions.
Social Proof: Highlighting others’ similar actions can nudge people toward agreement. Point out examples of others who have taken similar actions because people tend to feel 'safer' following the crowd. Highlighting the consensus you've already achieved can encourage further agreement.
Reciprocity: Give first to foster goodwill. Offer concessions or give something valuable upfront. When you offer concessions or assistance, it creates a positive atmosphere in the exchange that encourages others to reciprocate.
Consistency: Encourage commitment to prior statements or actions. It's okay to remind people of their prior statements or commitments. By encouraging people to stay aligned with their previous positions, we maintain consistency, which is a powerful motivator.
When is a Compromise not the Best Solution?
Persuasion in change management isn’t about manipulation and negotiation is not about creating win-lose outcomes. Coercing people to adopt a chosen course of action will not yield sustainable change. Without understanding the "why" and a genuine commitment to try new approaches, people revert as soon as possible to their comfort zone.
Communication, influence, persuasion and negotiation are about building genuine connections and finding win-win solutions.
Cooperation is better than compromise because, when cooperating, everyone gets the win they wanted. However, when compromising, some or all of the parties will walk away with something less than they wanted. While this might work for you first time around, you may not get such a great result next time. Our true influence lies in our personal integrity and the respect we engender from others.
Putting in the work to find a cooperative solution supports sustainable change this time around, and a far greater willingness for parties to participate next time. Even in complex situations, cooperation can be achieved through:
thorough discovery of the needs of each party and the dimensions of the topic being negotiated,
attention to the needs of all parties,
observation of the subtle cues during the communication process,
negotiators who are looking to find and explore the common ground, and
agreement to work towards the common ground with full efforts, rather than compromised ones, because it represents a win-win solution.
For support with persuasion, influence, communication and negotiation in change management, ask us about our Elevate methodology.
Comments