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Writer's pictureKerrie Smit

Guiding through Unwanted Change: A Challenge to Empathy and Reflection


Change is inevitable, they say. But what about the changes we don't want, the ones that disrupt our lives and leave us feeling lost in uncertainty? It's our job as change managers to offer advice and strategies for navigating workplace changes, and as change leaders to be the first to step into the brave new world. But do we truly understand the depth of emotion and struggle that comes with unwanted change?


A man sees his reflection in a broken mirror

When was the last time you experienced unwanted change? Think about situations in which you were going to lose out to an inevitable change. The neighbours building a second storey on their house and blocking your view, a break-up, poor health, or having to move house.


In a similar way, unwanted change in the workplace is always challenging. Whether it's a sudden shift in job responsibilities or a restructuring at work, our emotions can't always distinguish between work change or a personal upheaval. The impact can be profound. We experience a range of emotions – confusion, disappointment, and stress – as we come to terms with the new reality thrust upon us. It's not just about adapting to a new situation; it's about mourning the loss of what was, loss of control, and trying to find our footing in this unfamiliar terrain.


The ability to cope with change often hinges on our capacity to alter our perspective and find meaning in the chaos. But this is easier said than done. When faced with persistent negative emotions and overwhelming uncertainty, simply "changing our mindset" isn't easy and it isn't always enough. Sometimes extra support will be needed – whether it's from friends, family, or professionals.


When unwanted change starts to take a toll on mental health, seeking professional help is a great option that obviously should never be stigmatised. Organisations are getting better at this and there's no shame in reaching out for support when we need it most. However, it's not yet the case in every organisation that people feel safe seeking professional help for mental health. Change managers can challenge organisations to understand that ensuring smooth transitions is the job of the leadership, not of it's employees. Change leaders can build a culture where asking for help is seen as strength.


For those who are seeking guidance in managing the stress of change, the field of change management can offer valuable insights and tools.

Change management professionals are skilled at helping individuals and organisations navigate through transitions. By applying systematic approaches and proven methodologies, change managers help individuals regain a sense of control amidst the chaos. Whether it's analysing the root causes of change, developing coping strategies, or creating a roadmap for moving forward, change expertise can be invaluable in times of upheaval.


But as change managers and change leaders, there are limitations to our knowledge and experience. If ever we feel like we don't know the "right" answer for a particular individual, let's challenge ourselves to say nothing and just listen. Offering a solution from the toolkit or trying to "find the silver lining" may not be helpful, whereas listening to empathise with those experiencing unwanted change and acknowledge the complexity of their emotions might be all that's needed.


The Challenge is Unwanted Change

Instead of reaching for the pre-planned solution, try to encourage reflection and dialogue first. What does this change mean for you? What are your fears and concerns? How can we support you through this transition? By actively listening and engaging with those affected by change, we may be able to better tailor our approach and provide more meaningful support.


Why? Because we're drawing on our own experience of unwanted change. In those times, sometimes the most memorable support is simple and unexpected. The best kind of support is acknowledgement of an individual's unique pain points. Then, when ready, reflecting back the depth of their inner resource to face the challenge. And finally following up with the reassurance that they won't be alone in getting through it.


We must challenge the notion that all change is inherently positive. While it's true that adversity can lead to growth and new opportunities, not every change yields a silver lining. It's okay to acknowledge the pain and disappointment that comes with unwanted change, without feeling pressured to see it as a blessing in disguise.


Whether we are change manager or change leader, let's look for opportunities to foster a culture of empathy and understanding in change. Let's recognise the unique challenges faced by those going through unwanted change and offer them the support and compassion they deserve. And let's never underestimate the power of simply being there for someone, listening and just being present.




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I liked this because it is something that I am experiencing at the moment in my life. I know it’s a blessing in disguise, experiencing a few stressors with my body due to sleep adjustment.

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